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StatCounter Props
Because I said so!
Tonight, I found myself thinking about discipline again. I can picture myself trying to enforce something just for the sake of enforcing it, and for no reason other than “because I said so”. This is a control issue, an issue of me wanting the child to know who’s boss. I’m frightened that I might be like this with our child some day.
It’s very tough for me, because on the one hand, I do want the child to know that the parent has the final say. I want him or her to respect authority. At the same time, a child at some point needs to be able to make their own choices, and even question authority when it’s appropriate. Finding the middle ground between letting a child get away with murder, and ordering them around like a soldier is going to be very hard for me to do.
Fantasizing
Over the past several days, I’ve been having visions of how I might spend time with my new son or daughter. Most of the fantasies centered around not an infant, but a five to seven year-old. Some of the visions involved disciplinary measures, helping the child through a bad dream, and other run-of-the-mill activities germane to child-rearing.
All of this fantasizing got me to wondering how in the heck I’m going to raise our child to be a good person. There are so many things that can go awry. I suppose it really is one of those things where you need to go one day at a time and take each challenge as it comes. (Wow! How’s that for a tired old cliché?)
Anxiety
We find at this stage that our excitement and anticipation is accompanied — and sometimes overshadowed — by anxiety. Once we reach the three month (twelve week) mark, we can hopefully stop worrying so much about a miscarriage. I hope that by that point, the pregnancy will seem more “real”, and we can do what we’re supposed to: look forward to the coming months and years with excitement and happiness.
