• Categories

  Select Category Fatherhood  (67)    Chronological  (0)       Month 16  (3)       Month 17  (3)       Month 18  (6)    Day Care  (1)    Experiences  (9)    Observations  (2)    Photos  (1) Grown-up Stuff  (3) Politics  (3)    2008 Campaign  (5)    Civil Rights  (2)

• Blogroll

  • BigPlansBigCrash
  • Brian Gardner
  • Broad Sunlit Uplands
  • Building Camelot
  • Burgermeister
  • Chainsaw Panda
  • Dad Gone Mad
  • ElectricDisk Blog
  • Luke, I Am Your Father
  • Queen Kandis
  • Seriously
  • The BlogFathers
  • The Ordinary American
  • The Poop
  • Yarnmaven

• StatCounter Props

Happy Father’s Day

Happy Father’s Day to me! Today was my first Father’s Day, and I thought it might be fun to do a little self-assessment — a progress report of how I’ve done as a dad so far.

During the very first few days after his birth, it was great. We were both living on strictly adrenaline and I remember thinking, “This isn’t so hard!” After the adrenaline wore off, my demons came back to haunt me. I was snippy with Kandis in the middle of the night, and expressing some of my anger towards Cooper. My impatience and anger made things very difficult for the next month or so. I found myself feeling guilty for being angry at Cooper, and having little compassion for him and his hunger. What kind of monster was I to be angry at such a small, beautiful creature who didn’t know anything other than he was hungry? I was also lashing out at Kandis, and getting into arguments with her over feedings. I was not proud of myself, and was not being the father and husband I’d hoped to be.

Sometime during the second month, my attitude changed. Night feedings became a time to bond and enjoy his tiny self rather than a chore that made me resent him. I don’t know what prompted the change, but I’m glad it came. At this point, I find myself being much more compassionate towards his needs, and when he cries, I am sad for him. The night feedings are great, and looking into his small eyes as he drinks is a wonderful experience.

I probably still put too much of the child care responsibility on Kandis during the days, but I feel like I’m improving in that regard too. Only she could answer that for sure.

Fatherhood has been great for me. My life has changed, but I think fatherhood has made me a better person. Maybe I’m more patient and compassionate than I was before we had Cooper. I’ve certainly learned about a different kind of love over the past few months.

In addition to my celebration of Father’s day, Cooper turned two months old today!

Comments

• Wellsphere

  Rob Parenting Community

• Twitter

  
  follow me at http://twitter.com

• MyBlogLog