As you can see, I didn’t stand a chance. Toddlers are fearless. The memory is a bit fuzzy, but I think I “chickened” first.

1. Moral: of or relating to principles of right and wrong in behavior.
2. Atheist: one who believes that there is no deity.

Both definitions were retrieved from Merriam-Webster Online. I disagree somewhat with the definition for “atheist”, but the issue is a philosophical one. The definition is adequate for this discussion.

First, let’s examine the statement “Atheists have no morals.” One only need ponder that claim for a few moments to realize that those who would make such a claim are not engaging in moral behavior, if we accept that passing judgment on a person or group of people is “wrong in behavior” and, thus, immoral. (See definition above.) If the act of claiming that someone or something is immoral is itself an immoral act, one could logically assume that the claim has no validity and that the author of the statement has no credibility.

As exciting as philosophy and logic can be, I’m more interested in making my own statement:

“Atheists do have morals.”

My sense of right and wrong are not derived from a higher being. Theists will argue that our laws passed down through the generations, but ultimately laid out by a creator. They may argue that our sense of what’s right and wrong is the manifestation of a higher power inside of us. These explanations worked very well in the earliest days of civilization, when they were devised to explain the unknown. As our understanding of the world around us has grown through science, however, these types of explanations seem less adequate than they once were.

While I’m not a scientist, I’ve come to understand — thanks to the works of many wonderful authors — that our sense of right and wrong first began to develop millions of years ago among the earliest human ancestors. A basic set of ground rules developed out of the need to survive. Those who cooperated and adhered to these simple tenets were allowed to continue with the pack. Those who didn’t, were abandoned or killed. Over time, as environments changed and intelligence increased, so too did the complexity and scope of the rules. Additionally, our conscience began to develop as our brain capacity increased and became capable of processing more emotions. These days, we not only have the ability to follow rules, but we have evolved in such a way that we can sympathize with others and do our best to treat our fellow humans with respect and dignity. Sadly, there are some who still don’t follow the rules, and end up alone, in prison, dead, or all of the above. Evolution is still working on us.

As for my own, atheist, moral compass? It’s working just fine, as long as I get it readjusted every so often. If I miss my regular adjustment, watch out. I may start making sweeping judgments about theists.

I did get excited today when he declared “Potty coming!”  The excitement subsided after about five minutes of waiting, but I sense that momentous occasion is just around the corner. It will be the first time in my life that I will celebrate someone else’s bowel movement.

It was at this point that I could have let impatience or fear of potential embarrassment get the better of me. (Five years ago, the unmedicated Rob would have.) Instead, I waited out the tantrum for about five minutes. Cooper calmed down enough to head towards the front door and come inside.

Someone told me years ago that tantrums don’t need to be rewarded any kind of attention. This notion was recently reinforced to me when I read virtually the same sage advice in a pamphlet from our pediatrician. Additionally, I read that immediate and swift removal from ground zero is also acceptable, if the location is not ideal for waiting out the tantrum. Kandis and I seem to be in agreement on this issue: tantrums are to be ignored.

In case there was any lingering curiosity as to how the rest of our tantrum story played out, here it is. Once Cooper was inside, things were back to “normal.” I then made the mistake of taking off his new shoes which resulted in a new tantrum, accompanied by a screaming chorus of “My new shoes!!”

Cooper’s new room

Originally uploaded by Queen Kandis

Last night, Cooper spent his first night in his first “real” bed, and he was a trooper. After a few cries early on, he slept through the night and woke in his usual happy mood. There was also no transition period; we didn’t keep the crib in the room as a failsafe. We all went cold turkey, and it was a risky bet for Mom, Dad, and Cooper. Thankfully, the bet seems to have paid off very well!

Here’s to the end of another little chapter. Next up, potty training?

Mom: Do you want to drink your juice?

Cooper: [Grunts and begins to throw a typical two year-old tantrum.]

Mom: You go ahead and throw a fit, mama’s gonna eat her breakfast.

That’s how we roll up in here.

Moral of the story: Don’t mess with mama when it’s breakfast time, no matter how cute you are.

Today was different. He ran up to me with his usual smile, and when I picked him up, the first thing he said was “Hi, Daddy!” I was taken aback for a moment, because it’s the first time he’d actually said that to me in that context. With the whirlwind of commotion going on around him, he took a minute to focus on me. Once I got my footing, I cheerfully returned his greeting.

This is one of those seemingly trivial moments in a father’s relationship with his son, when viewed from the outside. Oddly, it’s a moment that will stay with me for quite some time.

1. Boo-Dock: Fruit Bar. Often preceded by the pronoun “my” for emphasis.
2. Ah-duh: All done. Sometimes used to declare that he is finished with a half-eaten meal, rather than as a factual indicator of state.
3. Ah-sy: Outside. Pronounced similarly to its English equivalent, but without the final “d” sound.
4. My: My or Mine. Also used to indicate a preference or demand for a specific item, as in My Ah-sy: I want to go outside now, you lowly prokaryote.
5. Up: Up. Used as a request to be lifted.
6. Dow: Down. A request to be put back down, and often used immediately after the previous item.
7. Oag: Hug. A request that family and friends are happy and quick to fulfill.
8. Dootie: Dirty.
9. Ah-clee: All clean.
10. ‘Ight ah: Light on. A request to turn the light on, or an indication of a light’s state.
11. ‘Ight ah: Light off. A request to turn the light on, or an indication of a light’s state. Distinguished from the above by context and inflection.
12. Shoe ah: Shoe on. A request to put shoes on, or an indication of a shoe’s state.
13. Shoe ah: Shoe off. A request to take shoes off, or an indication of a shoe’s state.
14. Ah, sah-da!: Exact translation unknown. Appears to be an exclamation used upon encountering a new object, or an object that had previously disappeared for a time.
15. Eh-thoo: I love you.

These are only some basics, as Cooper’s language is much richer, and vocabulary is growing daily. Please contact Cooper’s parents for translation requests, if needed.

Political ideologies aside, this post raises a valid concern. Whether or not Beck’s metaphor was directly connected to the rhetoric of the far radical right might be open to argument. Given recent rants regarding our descent into fascism, totalitarianism, socialism, though, I’d suggest that opening is a small one.

I usually end up with weeks that hit or exceed forty-five hours. Heck, a couple of weeks ago, I missed a whole day and still logged forty-one hours. I remember in my younger days, nodding off at my desk after a long commute to the office when I took any job I could get. Now that I’m a “responsible” and “adult” father, though, the thought of dosing off at my desk (and writing about it publicly) is a little disturbing, especially given the current economy. It ain’t my father’s generation, that’s for sure.